Empty Spaces: A Single Step
9 Dec 2011 12:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valyssiaSummary: Welcome to the worst day of the rest of your life, Buffy.
Rating: FRT: Contains Some Mature Themes: Parental Supervision Suggested.
Word Count: 800.
Beta: Howard Russell.
Character: Buffy.
Episode #1: Welcome to the Hellmouth.
Disclaimer: Another day, another…they don’t pay me anything at all. I just do this to amuse myself and you. That’s what allows me and mine to slip under the radar while playing with characters created by those more fortunate than us.
Author’s Note: This story begins and ends with quotes from Welcome to the Hellmouth. The odd material in the breakdown was loosely sourced from The Eurithmics song Doubleplusgood.
A Single Step
“Come on. This is Sunnydale. How bad an evil can there be here?” The words ring in my ears as I say them. I sound convincing, incredulous even. I want to believe them, but really I don’t—not any more than he does. Katharine Hepburn, eat your heart out.
I slip past him and march down the emptying hallway. I can’t believe he had the nerve to pin me like that. I still feel his arm in my face blocking my path, the heat of his breath billowing over my skin. I’ve heard that spiel before. The Watchers Council must be like a finishing school where they take arrogant, priggish, prickly boys and turn them into stodgy, haughty, insufferable old men.
Students scuttle into classrooms as I pass. I envy them their boring lives. All they have to worry about is the algebra test on Tuesday, homework, home life, did they make the team, will that special someone notice them, blah, blah, blah…
My life used to be like that. I miss it. Imagine, there was a time when I loved being chosen, being singled out, being seen as something special. Now I just want to be left alone.
Obnoxious. I can’t believe skipped ‘obnoxious.’ Giles is definitely that. Who here isn’t?
Willow.
I consider my answer. Xander and his tiny fence, Giles and his great big book, Principal Flutie and his clean slate, Jesse and his leering, and then there’s Cordelia.
It’s fair. So, how do I belong here?
That’s crazy. I don’t—
The bell rings. A fresh wave of searing tension tangles with my spine. My pace doubles. I’m not even sure I’m headed the right way. I don’t have my books. I was going to my locker when Commander McBragg waylaid me with handy, helpful tips and tidbits on how to ruin my life; fail school; become a social pariah; suffer repeated, horrible, painful injuries; and eventually—all too quickly—come to a tragic, lonely, sticky, violent end.
And they can’t understand why I wouldn’t want that. I laugh the laugh of someone who’s had enough fun for one day. I wanna go home, wherever that is.
They don’t care. All that matters to them is—
Someone keys the P.A., producing a crackly screech that goes on for somewhere between forever and ten seconds. Clueless which, but we may be looking at punitive damages. When the cacophony ends, a stuffy sounding older woman says, “Students, may I have your attention?”
My head pounds a rhythm with the echo of her voice.
“Attention. Your attention, please.”
I spot a familiar sign and almost pass it by. Hiding in the bathroom, yeah, that’s mature.
“Attention.”
I duck inside. The door bangs against its stop.
Atten – ten – tension.
It almost hits me. I turn out of its path…ten, ten…pirouetting as it slams closed.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six…
I snap. The first thing I lay eyes on gets it. The towel dispenser cracks. I hit it again. The faceplate breaks in two.
Tension. Attention. Your attention, please.
The part not held by the latch hangs precariously. Slowly, it shifts, tilts and swings.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four…
The piece finally falls, taking a bunch of paper towels with it. It clangs into the trashcan lid, bounces and clatters to the floor. Paper towels go everywhere.
What a mess.
I should leave. Someone might’ve heard that.
No. I shouldn’t. I can’t. Not like this. I need to cool off.
I go to the sink and turn it on. Water swirls down the drain.
I stare.
My knuckles are skinned. I flex my forearm. Blood drips from my hand, leaving a streak on the shiny white porcelain.
I look up. A smudged, tearstained wreck greets me in the mirror. I’m hopeless. I’m not even sure how I got here. One minute, I was in my therapist’s office; the next, the greatest hits of ‘my worst nightmare’ were looping around in my head. She asked me if there was anything I wished was different. That’s all.
Another blood drop falls. It drizzles down the bowl to be swept away by the water.
All I did was tell her I wished there was someplace where I belonged. Her face turned gross and I woke up. I thought I’d imagined it. Then I opened my eyes. I was in a strange room with boxes all around. I must’ve missed leaving the hospital. I missed a lot. No clue when we moved, but the stuff in the boxes was mine, so…
I was afraid to say anything because—
Well, because anything beats being locked up. Even this.
Mom was calling my name. ‘Don’t wanna be late for your first day.’
I played along. ‘No, wouldn’t want that.’
How do I belong here?
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- story:✬ series: - empty spaces,
- story:✬ series: e001. a single step,
- • category: missing scene,
- • genre: drama,
- • narrative: focus: limited view,
- • narrative: point-of-view: 1st person,
- • narrative: tense: present,
- • narrative: voice: buffy summers,
- • pairing: gen: w/out coupley connection,
- • setting: btvs: season 1,
- ▸ rating: frt,
- ▸ tone: gray,
- ▹ wc: ficlet (101 - 1000),
- ▹ year of publication: 2011
Charlatan’s Web
Footprints
Possession
And Wouldn’t You Be Bored?
Bloodlust
no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 05:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 08:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 06:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 08:09 am (UTC)Nice job of combining the two universes. I love how the wish!demon put her into Sunnydale.
I’m sort hesitant to respond to this. So first off, thank you. I just never manage to say the right things. It’s funny I can write prose for days and it comes out just fine, the interactions feel genuine, the pacing is snappy, blah, blah blah…but give me one person to talk with and my foot’s in my mouth up to my thigh in thirty seconds flat.
That said, I view this as canon spackle not an AU.
In Normal Again Buffy drops the bomb that she was institutionalized before she came to Sunnydale. Yet in five seasons of Joyce, never once does that little gem come up. And you’d think that she would’ve had a slightly different reaction to Buffy impassioned ‘I’m the slayer’ speech if was that the case. The way that plays out is beautifully like Buffy comes out of the closet. I wouldn’t change a thing, but let’s face it, Joyce would’ve been having kittens had that back story been taken into account.
What if the memory of being institutionalized was Buffy’s alone?
Basically, Normal Again is the terribly cliché episode that ripped the fabric of canon. Just a tiny rip, mind you. And there are tons more.
We see Halfrek target Dawn in the series. And I say ‘target’ because there wasn’t a rash of parents being turned to hideous blobs of goo or anything like that. Halfrek is trying to earn points with the boss so she goes straight for the slayer’s kid sister. It’s a calculated thing.
Is it ridiculous to think that a
justicevengeance demon would take a run at the slayer herself?Next take Sunnydale into account. It’s a town in Southern California where the houses have basements. Just that basic thing screams WTF? There aren’t any basements in SoCal. State law forbids them. But boy do they make fantastic places for vamps to hide. And look at the miles of sewer tunnels. Really?
Sunnydale has twelve cemeteries. What’s the population of the silly town? And when was the last time you saw photos of a gothic cemetery taken in SoCal? Umm…that’s kind of rare too.
It’s the source of a ‘great mystical convergence’ called the Hellmouth. Huh?
The mayor has been around for a century plotting to become a demon. No one’s noticed that the face of their mayor hasn’t changed in—
The town’s denizens are dumber than bricks of cheese. Really mild stuff, like Colby. There’s too much bacteria in a really ripe cheese. That might push it too far up the evolutionary scale.
You get the idea. This list could go on for days. Sunnydale comes off almost like it is a place that was dreamed up as a Habitrail for the slayer. It’s a place where she belongs.
In my opinion, this story works a little too well. It fits canon without butchering it, but it also turns it on its ear.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 11:07 pm (UTC)All of your points about Southern California are fascinating. Being from the east coast myself, they aren't things that I ever would have thought of.
Sunnydale comes off almost like it is a place that was dreamed up as a Habitrail for the slayer. It’s a place where she belongs. So you're suggesting that, at least in your story, Sunnydale itself was created as a place where Buffy would belong? *huge grin* That's awesome!
no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 11:27 pm (UTC)Season six, episode seventeen.
All of your points about Southern California are fascinating. Being from the east coast myself, they aren't things that I ever would have thought of.
I'm from the Midwest. I've just traveled a little and known people from all over.
The basement thing came up when I beta'd a story written by a lady from San Diego. She had a character fire a gun in a basement. I asked her how many people she had intended to kill. We talked my observation over and she got the idea that the bullet would ricochet willy-nilly to hell and gone. She'd lived in SoCal her entire life and had never been in a basement.
Fascinating stuff.
I verified the detail with Whedonist last night, who lives the L.A. area. She wasn't aware of any ordinances, but she assumed they existed because she'd never been in a basement in SoCal either. They don't exist except in the fictional town of Sunnydale. The reasoning is sensible. Earthquake country. Nuff said.
So you're suggesting that, at least in your story, Sunnydale itself was created as a place where Buffy would belong? *huge grin* That's awesome!
Yeah, that was my thought and the drive behind the piece. It's Band-Aid to slap over canon. A relatively tiny one considering all of the things it fixes.
Thanks. *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 11:40 pm (UTC)My reasoning was simple: if you really want to know someone, seeing them at their best is hardly helpful. You need to see them at their worst.
I love the S7 episode Conversations with Dead People for just that reason. The season sucks, but that one character study is simply marvelous. I mostly ignore the horror elements. I find them annoying because to me, they detract from the whole.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-10 12:32 am (UTC)I thought I didn't like S5 until I watched it from Hush on a while back. Most of those episodes were really good. I think the bad impression I have may be from the earlier episodes of S5: the blonde vamp that takes on Buffy and the roommmate.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-10 01:32 am (UTC)It is lovely, isn't it? That's
I'm in the middle of season 2 at the moment, watching for a story I'm working on. That's been fun. I just finished Phases, and had the joy of realizing that we don't know Oz is a werewolf yet and here is were we figure it out. And ditto for Larry being gay.
Yeah, season two was a good one. There's piles of wonderful stuff there. I need to trudge through season one and create my list of plot seeds. I just watched The Witch before bed last night.
I thought I didn't like S5 until I watched it from Hush on a while back. Most of those episodes were really good.
Yeah, a few of the seasons start out slow like that. The initial episodes are entirely skippable. I feel that way about most of season one, actually, but I'm making myself watch the entire series. I'll probably even sit through Ted and Bad Eggs, though I'd almost rather claw my eyes out.
The same woman I noted who had issues with basements observed that What's My Line was sort of like the finale for season one. It's set in the proper place (episodes 21 and 22) and in the two episode format that is typical of Buffy season finales. Its plot drives subsequent themes and ideas within the mythology. And the episodes that follow are absolute crap in keeping with your observation.
Anyway, I found that interesting.
I think the bad impression I have may be from the earlier episodes of S5: the blonde vamp that takes on Buffy and the roommmate.
I believe that you're thinking of early season four, the vamp
WednesdaySunday and the roommate Catty, Chatty, Kathy.I hated Kathy, but
WednesdaySunday was mildly amusing. One of the things on my extensive list of whims is aWednesdaySunday-centric fic. I'll likely never get there, but--Oops. Wednesday was in the Addams Family.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-10 04:12 am (UTC)What's My Line: We find out there's a second Slayer, but that's resolved and their friendly at the end; Spike is down but Dru is back, setting up the next season's big bad; Buffy, at least temporarily, resolves here "I want a life" issues. yeah, I could see that as the end of the season.
Sunday and Kathy, yes that's it, which I only know because I'm currently reading a series set in that season. I found both Kathy and Sunday terribly annoying. Wednesday, on the other hand, is totally cool.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-10 04:38 am (UTC)I can appreciate that. Though I'm not a huge fan of Xander, I do like him. I believe I'm one of two wiffy authors who've actually written from his POV. There may be a few more, but we aren't common.
But, yeah, that sort of thing is pretty awful. Being a misfit myself, I have a great deal of sympathy for people who suffer humiliation at the hands of bullies.
Now to the point...
There are very few of those 'featured creature' episodes that I actually enjoy. The broader, sweeping arc stories are just plainly better.
Wednesday, on the other hand, is totally cool.
:)
There's much Wednesday love here too. What a great character.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-10 05:56 am (UTC)The broader, sweeping arc stories are just plainly better. Yes, which is why I think I'm more of a Babylon 5 fan than a Star Trek fan.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-10 06:29 am (UTC)I watched them when I was little, but then there were only the four channels back then, so I watched a lot of stuff that just wasn't that great.
My problem was that they were the same shows over and over again. It's like the Three Stooges. If you've seen one episode, you've seen them all. I got bored.
I'm really good at being invisible so bullies tended to ignore me.
I was always too weird. I got picked on a lot when I was a kid.
I'm more of a Babylon 5 fan than a Star Trek fan.
Same here, but there are certain standalone episodes of DS9 and STtNG that are such good science fiction that I smile just thinking about them. The Sound of Her Voice and Inner Lightcome to mind. They were just stellar.
But yeah, huge Straczynski fan. I still watch B5 start to finish once every few years.
Star Trek just doesn't hold the same appeal. I watch an episode or two now and again out of boredom, but--
no subject
Date: 2011-12-10 05:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 07:47 am (UTC)Just wow. Powerful piece of writing.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 08:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-10 05:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-10 05:49 am (UTC)That is clever. I like your version too. Howard just oohed over it as well. (We're on Ventrilo at the moment discussing not much of anything.)
You have our blessing to rewrite canon to your heart's content, Miss Barb.
no subject
Date: 2012-02-19 11:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-20 01:15 am (UTC)I futzed with this a lot. I had a bunch more 'attention' stutters to begin with and peeled them away. I think it works pretty well like this, though it may be a bit abrupt...which adds to the shock value, so...maybe it's a win.
But I could probably spend the rest of my life tweaking my current works and not be happy.